Hale

I’ve realized that sometimes, I could be a bit unreasonable. I’ve been constantly saying to the front-line employees that there should be a person at exactly 8AM to cater to the clients as office hours starts at that time. There will be times where no one is available because they will be late, had a stomach ache, had difficulty finding a ride and so on.  

I get it. I really get it because there will be times where, as they would call it, life happens. No one will prepare you for it. But my issue here is that it has become a habit. I remember when I was in their shoes 5 years ago, there were only a couple of incidents where Kris and I had been late in coming to the office. This in turn made the ire of our then supervisor. In the ENTIRE duration I was assigned in that spot. I just couldn’t accept it that they will be performing less than what is expected of him. There is a standard to be followed and if such person is remiss in his/her function, we will be subjected to an audit by a commission with the threat that appropriate cases be filed to the Agency. Also, is it difficult to just inform the group in advance? 

 

As I’ve told again and again, my goal is to be as chill as humanly as possible. Telling off my direct reports with: “Today is beautiful, but I am mad with what happened” would be so much easier to take than just bottling it all up and spatting angry words at them. 

 

This whole belief has got me reflecting on my actions in general. An on-the-job trainee approached me and asked if we could talk. Her voice was small and she was really shy about it. So I stop with what I was listening, put everything down and asked her what’s the matter. She said that they received a disconnection notice for their electricity and that she needed to pay for the bill so she might be late in the afternoon. She said this in one breath. Usually, I would say “sure, you can just clock in late, in the end, this will be summed up and you will be extended with your training” but after watching her, I realized I didn’t have to be so business-like, so emotionless… I think this has originated when last year, a lot of people would come and air their problems to me that at the end of the day, I’m so exhausted. But back to the trainee…I am reminded today that there are a lot of things that we don’t know about each other. Sometimes we forget about it, to be on autopilot and say things uncaringly. We have our problems to carry, the least we could to do is to not add to it.

 

So much reflection. My heart is heavy for some unknown reason. Maybe it was because I’m lacking in motivation today. Or for the past days in general. My phone is playing the song The Day You Said Good Night by the band Hale.