Crossroads

My friends and I had a conversation last week about our pacing in studying Criminal Law. I told them I have not yet studied and that I feel like there is no purpose in doing so because at the end of the day, our professor would still fail us. So the main thought I have for this subject and why I don’t feel like studying boils down to this question: WHAT FOR? 

And then I go back to the ultimate question: Why study when you could have a simple, fulfilled, worry-free life? I wanted to just let this go but my soul would not let me live the minute I quit. Sir Alwin really put this question into perspective. We were chatting about it one day and I asked him how does he push through with all the difficulties especially if you are embarking with a new endeavor. In my case at that time, the Australia Awards Scholarship. He said, there is no question that you can do it because you are chosen for your competencies. You won’t be at that exact moment if you aren’t. The one thing that will push you through will be your passion. Sure you are capable, you are smart, you can write, you can get concepts easily but your passion, the reason behind all of these, will see you through difficult times. 

 

I am at a juncture. Work is killing me. The demands are quite high and I cannot seem to keep up with the pace. It was all my fault, I know. Here comes school…so stressful, so demanding, a mistress you cannot pacify. I know this will just be a phase. I will continue, I will persevere, and I will look back at these moments when quitting was almost an option. It shouldn’t be.

 

Today, I am sleepy. I have 200+ digests to do, I have an exam next week and I have not started a single shit.

 

Bless my soul.