Reminiscing the Saddest Moment in My Life

(A repost from my multiply account)

On the morning of July 7, 2005, when all was just sleeping, my mother got up and started to wander in the streets to collect money to the debtors of the different products she sells.

I was just sleeping comfortably in my bed as my mother went out for my elder sister was asking again for money saying she badly needed it for her project. It was a lie but of course my mother didn’t know that, neither in our family knew she was doing some other stuff in Davao as we trust her to do her best for she is the eldest and our family expects high on her to finish schooling on time.

I was awake by a loud banging on my room’s door. When I opened my door, I saw my Tita with the co-teacher of my mom. She said, “Jen pagdali nabanggan si mama nimo naa siya ron sa hospital!” (Jen, hurry up. Your mom met an accident; she’s in the hospital right now!) I though she met an accident with our car but was relieved to found it in our garage thinking it wasn’t as bad as I predicted a while ago. I was not in myself that time but I immediately have my bra on and went to the hospital on my own. My Tita also got dressed and promised to be there with me any minute. As I was on my way to our town hospital, the person who gave me a lift was the nephew of the man who gave my mother damage.

When I reached the hospital, I instantly cried as I saw my own mother laying on one the hospital’s stretcher with injuries all over her body. She can’t move her arm a bit due to the broken bones on her right hand.

The doctor floods me with questions of what’s the age of my mom, occupation and some sort of things I answered warily. She wasn’t even given oxygen to breathe in. I went to my mom and she told me with a hoarse voice that I should call my father but her phone was damaged by the accident so the man who accidentally killed her lent me his own phone. With trembling voice I told my father we were on the hospital and mom was seriously injured.

After 5 minutes, we were transported to Tagum city to have the medication there as our hospital lacks facilities for the scanning of probable damage. It was just my mom, a man who voluntarily helped us, the driver of the ambulance and me. I could still remember the agony in her face on the way to the hospital.

When we arrived there, we were not immediately given attention by the doctors as the doctors there are also limited. We waited for an hour and finally dad came. It was 12 o’clock noon when my relatives in Davao came and requested an ambulance for my mother to use in transporting to Davao as the service in regional hospital in Tagum is not good.

Around three in the afternoon they got the ambulance we needed and almost instantly, mom was sent to Davao but my sister (as she was also brought by my relatives to Tagum as they learned what happened) and I on the other hand went home.

We waited for over a week there on our house as my father and my relatives sought actions for my mom to live longer. She was operated 3 times and all three were unsuccessful. The first operation was to cure her kidneys as it was damaged by her broken ribs. The second was to put bags (medical related bags) on her kidneys to stop its swelling, loads of it. The third was to remove the bags on her as it causes further damage on her system.

We waited in our house praying hard for her to live with my Lola who attended our needs.

Lots of blood was donated for her but it was all in despair as her body would not accept the bloods that were transplanted. After the third operation, the doctor told dad to wait for about 24 hours if mom would respond but it was all deception because he knew that mom already died as soon as she was out in the operation room. 3 doctors operated her but nothing happened.

My mom died and Lola lied to me. She told me that soon, my Tita will go home and be with us but as I was observing things around me, my relatives are then planning on what angle will my mother’s coffin be. After I sensed something wrong with that scene, I had a conclusion that mom left us for good. I went to my friend’s and true enough my mom’s death was known by them already and in Ching’s house, there I find comfort. I stayed there for the whole day.

Up to now, I’m denying the fact that mom is now gone and will be gone for good. I’m trying to think that she is just out in the country as before and will come back soon.

We are now living a life without mom, a life without her love and on my part, a life full of denial…