Why I wanted to quit school

I am in a crossroad always, every day for the past months whether or not to quit law school. Today, I have decided not to quit. I won’t be a quitter. I know this will not be the last one that I will entertain this idea but I will go back to this day thinking the promise I made to myself: I will make myself proud. The efforts I have given is not enough, and so I will strive to make this work. 

 

Hey, we all face these challenges. For the past months, I have been thinking of really quitting. The tasks are grueling, the readings are enough to make you go insane, the study habits that you need to have is quite exhausting. But I’m still here, addicted to the pain, to the study of law, to school. I can’t wait to finish all this and I will go back to this very exact moment, or to those days where I doubted myself and say, I have made it. I made myself proud and everyone else.  

 

I know you are tired of reading stuff about my school. But I feel cathartic every time. People get tired of hearing the same things over and over again. But I know, you, a stranger, would not mind. This blog is my relief. No one to talk to, my psych is away…who do I talk? You. I hope wherever you are in the globe, know that there’s someone out there struggling, but still having that glimmer of hope in her. 

 

Did you know I have changed quite a bit since deciding to go to school? The knowledge I have learned, the friends I have known, the experiences I have gained…all this can be encapsulated in one word. LOVE. My love to learn has really pushed me to study school. Not even the lousy complaints I received, not even the injustices I have witnessed, but it is the love to learn that made me decide to pursue school. A decade ago, I was just dreaming of this. Now, I am here. Imagine all those who wanted to learn but does not have the means to do so. I have all that I needed to study so there should be no excuse, right? To be a part time student is on a different level of exhaustion. But I always survive in the end, hopefully, manifesting. 

 

Just a quick story. We conducted a business streamlining last Monday and there was a question that was raised by Attorney Pusod. He asked us whether or not this constitute fixing, “I am offering your services for a fee. I this fixing?” I answered that can only be heard by my Mama Bebing: “No it is not because that’s the very basic of why there are agencies.” In the end, Attorney said no, because for you be a fixer, you are providing a favor to anyone which would make it easier than the given procedure or process. 

 

As I look into the deeper meaning of EODB, I figured, there are three elements for it be considered fixing, the documents needed, the fees, and the processing time. If I offer my services to deviate from the set standards provided by a particular agency to cater to one’s whims, then that constitute fixing. Example: I will offer my services for a fee and guaranteed, you will get the document in 10 days normally done in 20 days, then that is fixing. Or if I offer my services for a fee and get that process done with half of the fee as prescribed, then that’s fixing. Or if I offer my services for a fee and I promise to have minimal document submission than the normal, then that’s fixing. So anyway, at the end of it, Mama Bebing said, “Ma attorney jud ka.” I got kilig. I know I’m in the right path all along.

 

Anyway, it’s already past 7:20 in the morning. My work is calling me. I needed to go. So much update so little time. See you in the next story.

 

Jenny