Waddup?

I’m here because I need to vent my frustrations with work, specifically with people I deal with on a daily basis. Who else will I’ll be saying these things? I’ve told P about it but so much needs to be said that the rant I had with him early this morning was not said in full. But first, update.

 

The middle-east crisis has put a strain in the already critical economic stability of the Philippines. Prices skyrocketing, hikes in transportation, basic necessities already at the precipice of not being basic cost-wise, and Filipinos are still hounded by the corruption allegations in the government – suitcases of money paraded in the mainstream media. I know, heart wrenching. But I cannot choose which country to be born into. Otherwise, I would have gone in New Zealand.

 

As a remedy to the increasing oil prices in our country, our President had a change of heart at the last hour of last week wanting for a compressed work schedule for all government instrumentalities – from the usual 8am-5pm Monday-Friday to now 7am-6pm Monday-Thursday. I cannot, for the love of me, favor the idea because I am a serial owl. I am not a morning person. I do not despise morning routines but if I can sleep more, I’d have it. Unfortunately, I am not the President and so I am bound to follow the rules set by him.

 

Now to the main part. My current work isn’t something I find comfort with, as well. Maybe because of these changes but honestly, I’m drowning with the pressure at work and with my incoming Agency exam. For the work part, this is recently due to the top management’s preference of changing the uniform designs for year 2026. The decision to change was decided too late because the clothing allowance is released by January of every year. Yesterday was their meeting to finally decide which design to choose. I’m thankful for all the help that my current division-mates have extended, truly, but I feel like I am not being heard.

 

With the decision decided by the office heads, I relayed their wishes to X, a staff in our division. I told X to relay that the heads wanted to haggle the price from this to that if possible (because they all wanted to collect the remaining balance of their allowance). I don’t know what happened along the way but I got a message from a colleague in the agency telling why, me, Jenny, the division head of X, was asking for a price reduction. It was with a tone implying a dishonest conduct from me. I just exploded because girl, I never received any pecuniary benefit from my facilitation. Not ever. I sent a message to X asking what happened, why was I being branded as such and what was the conversation all about. X told me that no mentioned of my name was made and that I asked for a price reduction, that it was from the heads, yadah yadah yadah. 

 

You know what, whatever. There sure has been some miscommunication made X, by me, by the person who contacted that person who eventually told me. I just wish the supplier had the balls to directly ask me instead of channeling their apprehensions to someone not part of the transaction. I am seething, naturally. Also, I was so frustrated by the way X answered me because eventually, as our messages progressed early in the morning, the discussion got heated and we have said things we mean – sure – but came out strong for all our little hearts can handle.

 

I would also like to say here that it is never a good idea to message someone over some issue we have over them. I really lack in this because I do not like confrontations. Maybe the message became blurred as we sent messages and I felt like I could do better in expounding on my thoughts if it was done face to face? I don’t know, I was never a good conversationalist so I feel comfortable sending messages. My preference really is to send a message because it makes me think better, than just talking in person with heightened emotions, with things I might say that I might regret later. I guess, it’s better to sleep on it or maybe have the talk at a later time of the day. I need to think things through on this part.

 

So that’s about me. I feel shitty. Listening to superhero by Lauv. I need to do things differently, you think?