Life of a 30ish Millenial

Hello. What’s up with you? I hope everything’s okay with you. As for me, I am in a crossroad. Like I always share here. Hehe Uh, but this is weighing on me quite heavily because there are career opportunities that we as a family need to take. I am firm in staying but I don’t want to limit someone’s ability in their own niche because I am not flexible, or because I am unwilling, or that I am contented with where I am, or just that I am chasing something I feel is already there.

 

My heart is heavy, my mind is constantly thinking, and my soul is split into what seemed like several pieces (like Voldemort). Remember that time when I said something along the lines of being stuck, unmoving whilst everybody is changing. That feeling is still with me. I don’t know how to navigate through my emotions. I am tired of constantly crying. So I write because I don’t know how to talk properly, to express myself without being a burden to anyone. 

 

Just recently, I heard a colleague having a go at someone over the phone for some instructions that was not properly applied. Or maybe it was just how she talks? I don’t know for sure. In this life, however, we all have our burdens to carry, some are very apparent, some not so, and some, you just couldn’t figure it out from the get go. So I try my hardest not to show any adverse emotions. We just don’t know the kind of life one is living even though you interact with them every day. Some are hanging by a thread, some aren’t sure what to do with their lives, some are still stuck in the past, some happy yet uncontented, some successful but unfulfilled. And it could be anybody.

 

I am in my life where I memorize everything as much as I can – faces, experiences, conversations, emotions, all of it. I call it retracing. Because one day, I might not remember it, I might forget those happy memories, the smiles of people you interact with on a daily basis and the experience altogether. I sometimes forget the names of the people I work with. Ha! Old age perhaps, or maybe the anesthetic I received on my spine five times now. That is the reason why I take as much pictures as I can because one day, our faces will change, our lives will be so different, every changing, ever moving.

 

For now, take my words and just be happy with everything around you. Because nothing is permanent, happiness, sadness, wealth, health, peace of mind, family, everything. Nothing is every permanent. And yes, you just have to keep moving forward.