The end where I begin

This is the title to the song of The Script where it talks about one’s scar and how it makes you stronger in the end.

You are probably here because you wanted to know what’s in my mind. Or maybe, just out of curiosity, you wander here to understand. I have been a recluse. I know. 

 

My love for law will always be. I cannot and will not move on from it. It will occupy my mind, my soul, and with every fiber of my being. I am at a crossroad and today, I decided to accept things as it should be. Kring V. once told me that for me to survive school, I needed to accept that it will be difficult, that I needed to accept zeros and humiliation and that this will be my life from now on. You cannot go against it. You just have to go through and with it. Today, I am accepting my role in this world. For the past 3 decades, I have been trying to please people. I try to be the best that I can be – always following the rules, always putting others well-being (except when I am moody), and just trying be a good person overall. 

 

I needed to keep sane, to have a clear head, and to accept things as it should be. I am forever thankful though for the realizations, for the constant assurance that everything will fall into place, and for every lessons that has come my way. School will and forever be my love. 

 

As what I have been told again and again, in pari delicto. Did you know that the love we take is equal to the love we make? School, you are my soulmate. I am accepting things as it should be. 

 

The question now remains: Can I do it? The answer: I should.

 

We cannot be those horses that are blindfolded and galloping aimlessly. We need to carve our own path. We need to live not because we are expected to but because this is what we want to do with our lives. Do not settle. Choose who you really want to be. You deserve the world. Be healthy, do not harm yourself, be happy.

 

I will finish school, I will tell no one the difficulties from now own (because we have our own struggles), I will be loyal to the oath, and this will be my last school to study. Four years is no joke. Kaya pa? Kayanon.