2023 Update

Hello. So many months have passed and I have not yet taken bold steps into going back to school. So, for those of you who do not know me yet, my constant goal since…2012-ish is to study. We always learn from our work every day. We get to experience situations that are new, difficult, and challenging, yes but make us question our capabilities. Most often than not, these situations teach us. I appreciate those situations; I yearn for them. However, I feel like I am always pulled toward my life and I have always had this thirst to learn theories in a formal setting. So yes, I wanted to study...again. I wanted to be a student. Nevermind our employee records keeper who would always tell me off about not being able to fit my credentials in just a single paper because of the numerous school I had to reflect. Nevermind the tuition fees. 

It is never easy I know. But why do I want to go over with it again? I remember those times when I used to cry every night when I was completing my post-college degree and would ask myself: WHY? Why would you want to undergo a very difficult course? Why study? Why make your life difficult? Was it for promotion? Was it something that you can boast about afterwards? Well, yes and no. What is your end goal? 

Let's take some of these questions one by one.

Why study?

I don't know. I just find myself enrolling/applying for different courses whenever I feel like it. The projection initially was every 2-3 years but I got busy with family and work that I am several years behind.

Was it for promotion?

In the beginning, I find my degree useful for my career development. In the qualification standards in the Philippines, the more you study, the higher the chance of getting a top-rank position. The higher position you have, the higher salary you'd probably get. So the aim was to study, get promoted, pay for another degree and that would make me get promoted again and so on and so forth. You get the drift. Essentially, to be a successful career person in this country, you have to up your knowledge on things. But in another continent, this would mean different. More to that later.

Was it something that you can boast about afterwards?

Initially, I find it cool to have letters/credentials attached to your name. But as I go on with my career, as I get to collect experiences in this industry, I get thinned-face to add those credentials because at the end of it, I would ask myself: With all these degrees, what have I done to the people or those around me that changed their lives for the better? And if my answer to that question is none, then I don't think I am worthy of putting those tiny letters after my name.

What is your end goal?

I don't know to be honest. I just wanted to learn and travel. And hopefully, my degree would take me to places that my current purse cannot.

A few years ago, I took up PhiLSAT. I passed but didn’t push through because I got pregnant. Thinking I wouldn’t be able to juggle the rigorous schedule of being a law student and a mom, I postponed my plans twice. Naturally, my results got expired requiring me to take the test again. Not a chance. Luckily for me though, the Supreme Court declared it unconstitutional so I need not worry about it anymore. But nature has its plans and I am again back to square one.

The world is my oyster as they say. Will I stay here in the Philippines forever? I don't know. I wanted to take every opportunity I have, and turn this into something useful. What that would be, I don't know yet. I want to prepare myself so whenever an opportunity presents itself, I will be ready. Dude, that's deep I know but whatever. Just doing what needs to be done. Also, my psych supports any activity that would make my brain busy. So much about thinking the what ifs.

Fast forward today. Submission of my academic records/clearances in Manila is almost done. Once this is over, I hope I will be able to get my TOR, Diploma, etc so that I can get this done and over with. Four years. It is daunting because enrolling to law school would be a different experience altogether. Will I be able to finish? Will I be able to go through with it considering I am also working? Will my emotions get the best of me? Will I push through? So much questions so why not answer them? We’ll see whether my endurance would make me finish this degree. As what they would say, Domine, Opus Tuum.