Looking Back

Gosh! I was reading a few of my old old old blog posts and I was shocked how hideous they were! It’s full of sadness, mopping around, and basically showing everyone how suicidal I was. Embarrassing, really.

I don’t know how I wrote those things but I sure hell don’t feel the same way I felt before. I was so in love and crazy and everything else that comes with it that I got weirded out after reading just a couple of lines. @.@ It’s cheesy, funny, and just plain idiotic. I was saying in one of the posts that I’ve written that I’ll be forever hurt and I have also predicted that I will still be crying by the time I will reach the age for marriage. I felt sorry for myself for ever thinking that way. I mean, how can you put a closing dot to all the things that’s happening to you when you don’t know what lies ahead? I’m talking nonsense here. So there...

I just remembered what Lexie Grey told one of her patients in season 6 ep 16 of Grey’s Anatomy (I think) and it was the best love advice that I have ever heard. It goes like this: It always feels like there’s just one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place. It’s easy to say that you can move on and forget this guy but when you’re in that position, that thought is just so over the other side of the world. But give it a year tops, and you’ll be happy to be out in that relationship. I mean, why would you break up in the first place if there’s nothing wrong in your relationship, right? I’d like to think that God is still molding the person that he’ll give the way he’s molding me. And when we meet, we can worship God together. Sounds extreme for others but this new way of dealing with relationship is doing me good so far. And I know it’ll be for the next years to come. :)

Time is passing really fast and I can’t even remember how painful it was. Just the happy memories retained. And I’m grateful because as time goes on, we are getting mature in every way that's happening, be it big or small. I guess maturity can be motivated by our own spiritual maturity. Did I make that sound okay? I mean, how I see things spiritually really helped me delt with people and events and all other things which made me see things in a different light. It’s a different experience, a better way of viewing things I guess.

As I was reading the 8 posts, approximately, I was laughing and felt so embarrassed with my own self that I was that… uh, hopeless romantic? Eeeee. Geez. It was me writing, the teenager me. Ha! I don’t know. The way I see things is much different than before. Maybe because I’m not in love at this point in time and everything that I wrote before was just so far away. :P And what’s funny is that the things that I have written are now the source of laughter. :D

I’ve come so far from all the bad things. :)