"I was fired even before I can start"

I really thought I had it. Based on my previous post I thought I now have a job. So at 1pm, I was already at the building waiting for Ryan since we were supposed to go to the office together. I was nervous. But I said to myself that everything’s gonna be okay.

By the time that we were already at the office, Ryan asked me if there were tasks given to me by one of the employees there who’s assigned as to what am I supposed to do for this day. One of the employees who were sitting behind me asked and Ryan told her everything. So she texted that employee and after several minutes, I chatted her over Skype and ask if she have some task for me. She asked me what kind of position I’m really interested in. I told her that it’s up to the since I will be willing to do any or both of those tasks. I waited for more than an hour for a reply. And then she told me (after that excruciatingly long hour) that she’s not really hiring me since their boss wasn’t that certain about me. She said that their boss still wanted to have “options” on the applicants. I felt like I was hit a stone on my face. Thoughts of my father’s preparation came to my mind. I have failed him again. And now I’m too embarrassed to tell him everything.

It was another rejection. I was fired even before I can start. This is the biggest rejection I ever had. Haaay. I felt really stupid for crying. I don’t know what to feel. This is just so frustrating. Although I believe that God has bigger plans on me, I just can’t help but to feel sad and frustrated.

Maybe the city isn’t the place for me. Life’s too harsh. Oh well, what can I do?